DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was taught by my mother and grandmother, who practiced what they preached, that condolence letters are to be acknowledged.

Their practice was to answer every condolence letter with a return letter. It could be long or short, but at the very least it should express gratitude for the sender’s thoughtfulness.

I have followed their practice throughout the decades, and I have found that writing acknowledgment letters has been very helpful to me as I have coped with the grief of losing important friends or family members.

In recent years, however, I have not received any acknowledgment for condolence letters that I have sent. I make it a point to write something thoughtful, including a memory of the deceased and a statement of my appreciation of him or her. I would never send a preprinted, store-bought condolence card.

Should I just face the fact that most people simply don’t write acknowledgments anymore? I’d like to tell them that doing so might help them in their grieving process.

It is also a thoughtful gesture to acknowledge thoughtful gestures, right?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but Miss Manners does not recommend you tell them that. Besides it being an admonishment, it will not help your cause if they disagree.

But if it makes you feel better, you are correct.

Condolence letters should be acknowledged, assuring those who care that their appreciation of the deceased and sympathy for the bereaved was meaningful.

Doing so can also offer comfort in recognizing the importance of the life that was lost.

Or not. But it is still the correct thing to do.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com ; to her email, ; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)